They live in anticipation of another failure or in fear that something terrible could happen to them at any moment. Why can’t some of us resist this negative attitude toward life? Why do I always think the worst?
Through anxiety, insecurity, or feelings of inferiority (which arise for no reason), underlying fears emerge that are often linked to what we have experienced in childhood. Undoubtedly, it is difficult to live knowing that there is a danger of becoming ill, of being the victim of an accident, or of losing a loved one. But if you constantly expect the worst, it is impossible to live a free and happy life.
Fear of reality
Anxious people try to protect themselves from real or imagined troubles: they refuse a close relationship so as not to suffer in the event of a breakup, inaction, in order to avoid failure. Such behavior indicates an underlying fear of life. The person is afraid to do things, to move toward his or her goals. He shields himself from too intense experiences or efforts, but this gives only a temporary sense of security, and then generates guilt for living half-heartedly. Such people buy their freedom from fear at the cost of partial self-destruction.
Accidents, illness, crime — everything the media tell us about, they try on themselves. Expecting the worst means that they cannot deserve the best. These reactions reflect unconscious feelings of guilt.
What to do
- Examine your fears. To free yourself from the constant expectation of trouble, you need to realize what it is you’re really afraid of. It’s likely that your fears hide deeper fears or painful childhood memories behind your worries. The most important thing is to clearly see the reason for the fears: this will help change your attitude.
- Come up with a different ending. Excessive fear of non-existent danger is explained by a special vision of reality: you may identify with the people who really suffered. Write down your experiences and analyze what exactly is causing your anxiety. And then think of a good ending to the horror story. Then be sure to say that it will only help you, not the victims you identified with.
Don’t try to convince someone who is constantly expecting trouble that he’s safe. Yes, he may suffer a sudden death, his children may have an accident, he may fall in love, he may be at risk of heartbreak. But emphasize: even if all this is true, he is not in any danger at the moment. To live is to run the inevitable risk of death and loss. And the only way to enjoy life is to accept this risk, which is the tragedy of our existence. Do not comfort or pity such a person. On the contrary, try to make him laugh. Humor, more than anything else, can show fear its true place.